Sunday, February 3, 2008

Behind the Wheels

There are those who would think that several decades of marriage would make two people think similarly. The problem occurs when you take into consideration that men think with testerone coursing through their veins and women think with estrogen levels going up and down depending on the time of month or the time of life. For purposes of this blog, my darling, forever husband will be referred to as HRH. ( His Royal Highness) HRH is truly the love of my life, but now that we are past the child bearing stage, his testerone has been converted to aggressive competition on the road, on the golf course and any other place where folks keep score. Here in southern Florida people drive as though they just escaped from the asylum. A space between you and the car immediately in front of your car means someone will make a lane change in the blink of an eye. You better not blink or you will hit them in the arse and the insurance company will hit the delete button on your account. Yellow lights do not mean "proceed with caution", but instead mean "hurry like heck before the cars going the other way can gather enough speed to wipe you out"! So, HRH and I drive around town with him aggressively keeping ahead of other drivers, who might want to make it to the next corner two seconds faster. I do suck wind far more than most women are allowed and occasionally make pointed comments like, "Oh, look out" or "Cops on the right up ahead" or "There is an old lady on a bike over there" or "Stop sign"! Perhaps, my mind thinks he has suddenly gone blind, but I really believe the only people who worry about how someone drives is a person who is also a licensed driver in a passenger seat. Passenger seated people have no control over how or where the vehicle goes, so we make useless comments .... just to be on the safe side. There is no answer to a problem as old as the automobile, because we cannot change from women into men. Yes, HRH is aggressive, but is the best driver I know and I would go with him to the ends of the Earth. HRH would like to invent a seatbelt that covers my mouth, but it looks like someone beat him to it. I'm going to patent a protective steel plate for the floor to keep passengers from sticking their right foot through the floorboards.

5 comments:

Big Dave T said...

I get a lot of the same comments from my wfie regarding my driving. Except that I don't think she holds my driving skills in such high esteem as you do with your DH. I always tell her if she wants to take the wheel, I'll be more than happy to let her do so.

Anonymous said...

How bout getting him a cell phone? Ha, ha.

Carine-what's cooking? said...

we've been married almost 27 years. Like you hubby is the love of my life, but I will not drive and let him be a passenger. He's the worst backseat driver ever. He's a very good driver, so it's my pleasure to let him do the work

Spicy said...

I hear you loud and clear...when I drive with Hubby...I am forever reminding him to use the flashers...they are there for a reason...not to follow so closely...etc...I'm a true nervous Nelly driving with him.

Constance said...

snicker. I suppose he won't let you do all the driving ? :)